Amazing Grace (A testimony by Susan Linterman)

I’d like to open in prayer before I share my journey with you.  "My heavenly Father, this is a love letter from me to you.  May it be pleasing to you and may it touch those hearts that still don’t know you personally.  My God, thank you so much for hearing my prayers.  My Lord and my God, thank you so much for opening my eyes and sending your Holy Spirit to live in my heart.  But, most of all, thank you so very much for sending your Son to save me, your Precious Son, my Lord and my Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen".

Before I became a Christian, what a phony life I led.  On the outside, people saw Susan as an energetic, outgoing, successful, businesswoman – the life of the party!  What a joke!  On the inside, I was a wreck.  The part they didn’t see was a woman who was very lonely, restless, afraid, and having no purpose in life.  It never occurred to me to ask God for help – why?  Every day, he let millions of people suffer and die of hunger and disease.  If He didn’t help them, why would he help me?  That’s how I justified not going to God with my problems.  At that point in my life, I was pretty convinced there was no God.  Fortunately, God had His sights on me and He was about to reveal Himself to me.

It all began when I joined a Body Building Gym in Calgary, thanks to the subtle pressure of my then Chiropractor.  You would have laughed.  There I was in this Gym, a little overweight fatso, trying desperately to lift miniscule weights to get in shape.  That first day in the gym, a muscle-bound body builder sauntered over to me and began giving me instructions on how to properly lift weights.  Boy, was he cocky, but he was also very cute.  Obviously, he felt sorry for this little fatso because every time I was in the Gym, he would come over and help me out.  It didn’t take long before I fell head over heels in love with him.  In case you don’t know, that would be my husband, Rudy.  

Much to my surprise, he asked me out and on our first date, Rudy took me to the Bragg Creek Steak Pit (just outside of Calgary).  What a romantic setting!  After a splendid dinner and a few slow dances, we sat down for coffee and dessert.  All of a sudden, he asked me if I was a Christian.  “Of course I am.” I said.  “So” he said, “When did you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”  With a blank look on my face, I said: “What are you talking about?”  Rudy knew then that I wasn’t a Christian and he decided to tell me about his walk with Jesus.  “Oh no!” I thought.  “A religious fanatic! Well, I can ignore the religious stuff.  He’s too cute to lose.”  Here came the phony Susan – I sat there and pretended to be interested while he went on and on about God. On each of our dates after that, Rudy would share with me what God was doing in his life and I would sit there, all starry-eyed, not listening to a word he said.   

About a month after we met, I left on a one-week trip to Toronto to visit my Mom.  Kelly, a co-worker and a very, good friend, offered to drive me to the airport.  It was only about five minutes from our office.  I phoned Rudy before I left, said good-bye, I love you and here’s my Mom’s phone number – hoping he might call me in Toronto and tell me how much he missed me.  Kelly dropped me off in front of the Terminal.  We hugged and said good-bye and he continued on home.  Off I flew to Toronto.  It was so great seeing my Mom again and that first night, I babbled non-stop about this wonderful guy in my life.  I knew my mother would love the fact that he had God in his life.  Yea!  Big brownie points for the new boyfriend, I thought.  At the time, I had no idea that my Mom had been praying for me for years to find God in my life.

The following morning, Mom and I sat in her little kitchen, in our nighties, sharing a pot of coffee and reminiscing.  Just then, the phone rang.  Being closest to the phone, I answered it.  You cannot imagine how excited I was when I heard Rudy say:   “Susan, is that you?”  My heart was doing cart- wheels and I started yapping away when he interrupted me.  “Susan, I have some terrible news.”  “Oh no!” I thought.  “Please don’t break up with me on the phone while I’m in Toronto with my mom.”  Rudy continued.  “Last night, after Kelly dropped you off at the airport, he was driving home and was killed instantly in a single-vehicle car accident.  “What did you say? I said. “Are you kidding?  Please say this is a joke!”  “I’m so sorry, Susan” was all I remember him saying before I hung up the phone. When I started to shake and cry, my mom, frightened for me, grabbed me and held me tight until I calmed down.  The rest of the week with my mother was a total blur.  It was so hard but I managed to keep it together, for my mom’s sake. 

The following week, I flew back to Calgary.  Rudy was at the airport to meet me and I just collapsed into his arms, crying and out of control.  “Please” I said to him.  “Please get me a bible”.  I needed something really bad to help me and I finally felt God’s presence. Within a few days, Rudy presented me with my very own Bible.  It even had my name printed on the front.  This is the note he wrote inside.  “Love Him, Susan.  He’ll never leave you.  Find Him like I’ve found Him.  One day, you’ll experience the peace and love I’ve found.  It’s so wonderful and pure and so lasting.  I pray for you every day.  Keep this book with you always for in it are all the things you would ever want to know.  We will spend eternity together forever and ever.  God bless you Susan.  Romans 8:28 – All things work for good to those who love God and who are called according to His purpose.  Rudy.”  Also tucked inside the front cover of my Bible was a small booklet explaining, in simple language, God’s plan for us, how Jesus had to die on the cross to save us and what you need to do to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

   
Night after night, I read my Bible and held it close when I slept.  Every day, when I saw Rudy, I would tell him that I asked Jesus to come into my heart, but nothing happened.  What I didn’t know, at that time, was that Satan didn’t want me to become a believer.  Rudy told me to just keep reading my Bible.  I would find all the answers there.  Within a short period of time, I read the Bible, cover to cover and continued asking God to make me “born again”.  Nothing happened. 

During this period, Rudy experienced personal tragedy when his Mom passed away.  His Dad really needed him and Rudy spent less time with me. One Sunday morning, I pleaded with Rudy to take me to Church with he and his Dad.  He said:  “Susan, I need to spend this time in Church with my Dad.  I think it is too soon to introduce you to my family.”  I told him I understood but I really didn’t.  I felt hurt, isolated and lonely.

OK, I said to myself.  Why don’t you have your own church service?  So, I sat down at my kitchen table and opened up my Bible. Tears started to blur my eyes and I couldn’t see what I was reading.  At that very moment, God opened my eyes and there before me, hanging on the cross, bloody and battered, was His precious Son, Jesus.  The dark veil that hung over my eyes all those years suddenly disappeared and, for the first time, I understood the unbelievable sacrifice Christ endured for me. I cried out “Lord, I believe now.  Please forgive me for all the wrong I’ve done.  Come into my heart and help me change my life.”  And He did just that, in a split second!!!  I was crying, and laughing and shaking all at the same time. This is what it means to be born again!!  A brand new life – a new beginning with Jesus as my Lord and Savior!  Thank you Father.

When Rudy came over after Church to see me, I must have been a sight – blood-shot eyes, running mascara and shaking like a leaf. He was terrified for me until I told him that I had a vision of Christ on the cross, that I finally understood how much God loved me that He wanted me in His family.  “I accepted Him, Rudy, and He accepted me!!! From now on, Jesus is my Commander-in-Chief!  I am a Christian, Rudy, BORN AGAIN!!!”

From that moment on, my life did a 360!  I was no longer lonely or afraid.  God gave me a joy I had never known.  He gave me hope when I had none. And He loved me in spite of my shortcomings.  I now have a purpose in life.  What is it?  Every day, I want to become more like Jesus.  I want others to know the love and peace I experience from God every day. Have you asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior?  Have you experienced a personal relationship with Him?  Maybe it’s time to consider it.  And, it is free!  You have nothing to lose and absolutely everything eternal to gain.  Ask Him into your heart today.

Thank you, my God, from the bottom of my heart, for your amazing love, grace and, FOR SAVING A POOR WRETCH LIKE ME.